This guest post was written by Brian Chan, the Youth Development Specialist and Queer Opportunities to Lead at Asian Counseling and Referral Service.

What is something you pride yourself on?

Maybe an award, a talent that you were born with, or—if you are my mother—a collection of special edition Coca-Cola cans that would make even the most prideful collector envious?          

It is easy for us to take pride in something of superior value (usually, and unfortunately, monetarily) or something that hinges on a traditional sense of meritocracy and hierarchy (like competitions and rankings). Unsurprisingly, many things someone can pride themselves on cannot be enumerated or compared.

Personally, I consider Pride Month to be a time when I can rejoice in the latter.

Originating from the Stonewall Riots in New York City, Pride Month is an annual commemoration and celebration of the fight for LGBTQ+ rights. For me, Pride Month is anything but meritocracy and hierarchy. Pride for the queer community resides in unity and collective power, and our ability to survive and recover from every challenge along the way stronger than before. Pride Month reminds us to continuously lift ourselves and each other up because no one is truly free until everyone is.

Historically overlooked and marginalized, the LGBTQ+ community has come a long way to be recognized as who we are despite judgment and threats from prejudiced ideologies. Pride month is an example of such recognition that renders us visible and worthy of equal treatment, as that of cisgender and heterosexual people. However, even with a designated month to celebrate this vibrant community, queer people—especially transgender women of color—continue to be erased and harassed. As it turns out, being proud of oneself in the face of discrimination and a hegemonic societal structure can present even more challenges.

Making Pride a Safe Space with QOLOR

This Pride Month, in addition to celebrating my own queer Asian immigrant identity and the paths that led me to where I am today, I also want to highlight the pride that I take in the work that my team and I do and the impact that it has on our clients, and vice versa.

As part of the QOLOR Team (Queer Opportunities to Lead, Organize, and Reflect) at Asian Counseling and Referral Service, my teammates—Angela Dosono and Storm Nguyen—and I primarily serve queer and trans students of color at a middle school in South Seattle. Our program’s mission is to provide a culturally sensitive and safe space for these students to achieve health equity and autonomy through prevention and intervention services. In other words, we give these kids what we wish we had when we were their age.

Our mission is as essential and convoluted in principle as it is in practice, as a safe space for one youth might look different for another, especially when considering their intersectional identities and cultural backgrounds, notwithstanding the current sociopolitical climate. Hence, our programming has continuously evolved over the past few years, and it will inevitably change again in the future.

Currently, QOLOR offers a lunch group for QTBIPOC students to be in community with each other and learn about queer identities, and an after-school club called Kindness Alliance to promote awareness and education about domestic violence. Miss Angela also facilitates Lotus Circle, a spin-off identity group tailored to queer Asian femmes and trans youths. In addition, we conduct case management for students whose needs are better met in a one-on-one setting. Inspired by our own unique lived experiences, these offers combine elements of play, knowledge, safety, and visibility. They also provide various avenues for kids to explore their own intersectional identities and realities—being transgender, non-binary, Black, Asian, whether to come out or not, and to whom.

This program has taken on many forms before arriving at this point, constantly listening to and assessing student feedback, then revising and improving upon it. But I can confidently speak on behalf of my teammates that we take pride in our adaptability when structuring QOLOR. We also take pride in how much care and consideration we dedicate to creating safe spaces for these youths. A cornerstone of our work-related conversations is often how we see our younger selves in the students we serve

Therefore, we do not devote our effort and care to this work out of obligation; we do so out of the belief that no one should ever experience the inhibition, shame, hate, and injustice we experienced in our past.

Having a Community that Uplifts You

Despite the progress that society has made to embrace the LGBTQ+ community, the omnipresent and jarringly loud oppositional voices still pierce through from people who argue that we are abnormal. Claiming that we live a certain “lifestyle” or that we shove “propaganda” in their faces, these folks are uncomfortable with others who are different than them who simply want to live life with dignity. It is as if they get to tell us how to live our lives.

For us in QOLOR, we try to shield our kids from harm while gently informing them of the potential dangers in the world. Even without us, they are still aware of all these voices from external influences, whether from social media, family members, or even their own peers at school. As adults, we build tolerance against unpleasantness, but it is a different story for kids going through puberty.

I am incredibly proud of who my teammates and I have become and the work we do. But while QOLOR aspires to provide spaces wherein kids can freely be themselves without judgment, it still takes a courageous and kindred soul to take advantage of the spaces we create. As such, I am even more proud of our group participants. At such young ages, they have a high-level, sophisticated understanding of their own identities and how these identities intersect with one another. Many of them also hold a lot of weight in their personal lives, so for them to explore and express themselves to whatever extent they do within our group’s parameters is beyond admirable.

These students know how to carefully assess and navigate the world for what it is—full of excitement and fun, while simultaneously enveloped with difficulties and obstacles. Children are aware of what is happening; they can tell genuine support from performative theatrics. This observation is why being considered trusted adults by these vulnerable and innocent young folks is our ultimate honor. Nothing compares to the fulfillment of a student telling us how much they appreciate us for what we do. That is also why they also help us by reminding us that it is always worth it to help one another.

Community is what we are building for them, and community is all we have to fall back on when the going gets tough.

No one in the community is better than others; our pride stays rooted in celebrating our identities and our ability to uphold each other regardless of our commonalities and differences. As these youths grow through such a pivotal phase in their lives, we also witness one of the greatest evolutions in history: love always wins.

May our Pride withstand attacks and setbacks, and may we forever hold each other in solidarity and community, rather than hierarchy and superiority.

Unless you are my mother, in which case her Coca-Cola cans will always reign supreme.